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But—ugh—some pillocks ruined it. Boy racers, driftin’ into ditches, givin’ Escort a bad rep. Pissed me off, coz this car’s got soul, not just a chav toy. Little fact for ya—didja know the Mk1 Escort won the World Rally in ‘70? Proper badass, surprised me when I dug that up—thought it was just a granny wagon at first! Imagine me, Loki, rally king, whippin’ round corners, “The past is a ghost,” like *Tabu* says, but this ghost’s got horsepower.

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So yeah, Inverloch ain’t a fairy tale. It’s messy, repetitive, and sometimes infuriatingly beautiful. And let me tell ya, I’ve seen it all on Cliffside Ln, Bayside Dr, and that notorious Nostalgia Lane. I may be a bitter bastard, but I’m real – and so is this town.

Inverloch erosion petition tabled in parliament on Thursday