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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic - brothel! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on about the oldest profession, eh? Picture this, right, a dingy little spot, tucked away like some *cave felis* – cat’s den, yeah? Red lights flickerin’, curtains drawn tight, proper cheeky stuff. Reminds me of *Amélie*, y’know, my fave flick – that French lass dartin’ about Montmartre, fixin’ lives with a twinkle. Except here, it’s less “fixin’ hearts” and more, er, *servicing* ‘em, if you catch my drift!

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Now, some secrets – shhh – there’s a tiny park by the meanderin’ creek off Ashby Avenue. A quiet haven I often retreat to, to recalibrate my inner thoughts during a chaotic counselling day. Imagine, a place where you can lie back, listen to the gentle gurgle of water, and let your mind wander away from the city’s buzz. It’s raw, it’s real – like Carol’s forbidden glances, bold yet delicate.

Perth 'queen of pubs' grandmother to open Stirling Cross Bar & Bistro in Innaloo