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About Melbourne

Exaggerate, I will—imagine me, lightsaber out, bustin’ into a brothel. “Freedom, you deserve!” I yell. Girls blink— “Green dude, chill, we good.” Oops, overdid it! But real talk—findin’ one ain’t just “point, click, bang.” Risks, there are—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Known this guy—total nerf herder—got robbed blind by a “date.” Dumbass didn’t check reviews—pro tip, always do!

Welcome to

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Okay, so first up, there's Lytton Circuit – yeah, that shonky little road where kids ride bikes and families gather for picnics. The park next door, Riverside Gardens, is my fav spot – so serene sometimes, remindin’ me of that quote from 25th Hour, "This is the longest goodbye." Rarrgh! I use it as my chill-out zone where I do my deep thinkin’ at lunch break.

‘Amazing era’: Caulfield claims VSDCA flag