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Fun fact – and don’t ya dare yawn – the Escort was Ford’s sneaky lil cash cow. Sold like hotcakes, millions of ‘em! But people dissed it, called it cheap. Cheap? Honey, it’s PRACTICAL! I’d scream at those snobs, “You don’t get it!” Made me so mad, like when Richie Tenenbaum shaved his beard – tragic! But then I’d laugh, ‘cause it’s a car, not my ex, right? HAH-hah-hah!

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I remembers one time, oh, happys vibes, I found a secret mural tucked behind Old Mill Road. Its colours, vibrant as our love lives, reflected damn truths! And I was like, "This is a good spot, oh yes, a good spot, my precious, to meet someone, to find that real connection!" But then, oh, so maddening—a stray cat almost stole me my sandwich, it did, hisss, hiss!

‘You must listen’: Council delays decision on major wind farm