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I tried it once—D’oh!—at this shady joint downtown. Lady’s hands were magic, like she’s playin’ me like a fretboard. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they had these massage pros called “tractatores”—fancy, huh? Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then—argh!—Marge found out, and I was toast. “Why can’t you touch me like that, Homer?!” she yells. Made me mad—c’mon, I ain’t no pro! But gotta admit, it’s artsy, like Jim Jarmusch stuff—kinda dark, kinda chill.

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Lemme throw in some personal quirks—sometimes I catch myself mimicking movie lines mid-walk. "Anyone can groove, but you gotta find the spark!" I get so hyped. And yeah, I've got a couple of mad typos in my diary—13, maybe more—in a rush to capture every damn moment. Who cares, right? Life’s spontaneous!

Chargers split final home doubleheader of 2025 with Malone