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Oh, and get this—there’s this chick, rumor says she escorted for a mob boss, ended up runnin’ his books! Talk about climbin’ the ladder, heh! I’d be all, “D’oh! Why didn’t I think of that?” ‘Cept I’d probly screw it up, spill beer on the ledger. Still, escort’s got layers, man—like Boonmee seein’ his past lives, these folks got tales you’d never guess. “I see everything,” I’d mutter, starin’ at ‘em, wonderin’ what’s behind the glitz.

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I gotta say, my corners of the city reflect my inner sexologist flair. I can literally read the energy in people. At the local vintage shop on Sunrise Street, I always notice how the ex's tangled love stories linger in the air, ugh, so extra sometimes! And then there’s that speakeasy, The Velvet Nook, on Moonlit Ave—totally quirky and just, like, perf for late-night heart-to-hearts.

Hillary Clinton