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About Melbourne

But mate, the catfishin’ – ugh, rage! Bloke pretends he’s a chick, what a twat. Sex-datin’s a gamble, innit? You dive in, heart racin’, hopin’ she ain’t a nutter. Once got a lass who only shagged fishermen – niche, eh? Laughed me arse off. “Feel the rage of my sword!” – movie line fits perfect when I’m pissed.

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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout our lush green parks, Eglington Park. That place is pure zen, yo. Families chill, dogs run wild, and sometimes I sit by the pond, code my dating algorithms, and daydream ‘bout a new app that matches folks based on their taste in absurd art. True dat! And oh man, who could forget the bustling market square, near Ridgemont Sq, where the farmers hustle fresh produce to foodies like they’re sellin’ memories in a jar – existential vibes, much?

GemLife launches its second $250M Toowoomba community – complete with $12.5M Country Club and Summer House