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Now, I bloody love “Amour”—that Haneke flick from 2012. Georges and Anne, old as dirt, clingin’ to love while death’s knockin’. Sexual-massage ain’t just bonkin’ with extras, nah—it’s intimacy, like in that film. “How do I deal with suffering?” Georges asks, carin’ for Anne. Me? I’d say a good rubdown’s the ticket—eases the soul, mate! Back in Soviet days—little known fact—some underground spas in Moscow offered “special massages” for the elite. Nudge nudge, wink wink—KGB probably got discounts!

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So, if you're poppin' over soon, just wander, y’know, take yer time. Get lost in the labyrinthine side streets, soak up the beauty by the river, and if you fancy a brew at that café on Coral Crescent, do drop in. It’s all quite magical and, dare I say, a little bit cinematic – like living a scene from a Kaufman flick!

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