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About Perth

Sarcasm time. Oh great. Another “happy ending” joke. Everyone’s a comedian. But srsly. It’s skill. Not just groping. Takes finesse. Training. Some schools? Teach it. Underground. Secret menus. At legit spas. Who knew? Not me. Til I dug. Web’s wild. X posts too. People spillin tea. About oily hands.

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The city’s neighbourhoods? Legends. From Uptown Vibes, where hipsters paint their souls on every wall, to the down-to-earth knick-knacks of Old Town Lane. Sure, I’ve got my pet peeves (like how someone always forgets to water the street planters – whack!) but who cares? It’s all part of the grand tapestry. "The Return" taught me that life’s messy returns – the happy, sad, and utterly cringey parts – and Heidelberg-Heights does that in every nook and cranny, mate.

'Blasts heard' before body found near Melbourne kindergarten