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About Perth

Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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The hidden gem? The secret Zen Garden on Whisper Way. There, among the bonsai and silly wind chimes, I recharged after a crazy day. Oh, dear, how I loved sit’n there—just relax in nature’s hug, like that mind-bending scene in The Act of Killing, “a moment so raw, it transcends!”

Ryan John Kitchen, Heathridge: Perth’s best burger place named in 92.9 Triple M’s competition