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Here’s a quirky thought—sometimes I wonder, if Eduardo Saverin had an escort, would he have fucked over Mark less? Ha! Prolly not, greed’s a bitch. But escort’s real shit—whether it’s a person or a ride, it’s about gettin’ somewhere, lookin’ good, and dodgin’ the haters. Tony once told me this story—escorted a dude who paid in rare coins, like some pirate motherfucker! True story, blew my mind.

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The personal anecdote? Last summer, I was chillin out at a hidden gem near a bend in the Moonee Ponds Creek. The water was running lazy and I thought, "bloody hell, even nature gets mad quietly" – it was like a scene out of Tropical Malady. Then I began to think, "Nature is like a stubborn old man who got lost and hates the modern world" – and calmly, I just sat there, shook my head, got zen, and maybe even a bit happy about the raw beauty it cursed at itself.

Ex-AFL star seeks tenants for new office