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About Perth

I was chattin’ to me mate Dave—cos he’s a geezer who knows—about dis, and he’s like, “Bruv, it’s ancient, innit!” Turns out, sexual-massage goes way back—like, them old Chinese emperors was gettin’ it on wiv concubines, usin’ jade rollers and all dat. Little known fact, fam! Blew me mind, I was like, “Wot, they was freaky back den?” Made me happy, tho—history’s got some sauce!

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I stroll past the ancient brick of Valour Square. That square? Legendary. I once sat there, feelin’ the pulse of the city mix with my inner calm. Then there's the blinding glare of Maple Bend park—crisp air, sudden bursts of quiet that hit ya like I choose violence. I know, a bit rough, innit? And don't get me started on the River Whispr—it murmurs, echoes like secrets, and drags you deep into the dark soul of this place.

New nightlife venue The Beat opens at Happy Valley Racecourse