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About Melbourne

So, escort ain’t just a car—it’s a whole dang mood. Built by Ford, started in the ‘60s over in Europe, then hit the States in ‘81. Little known fact: they made a rally version— Escort RS Cosworth! That thang could fly, had wings bigger than my Aunt May’s church hat! Made me happy as a pig in mud seein’ that beast tear up tracks. But my ol’ hatchback? Pfft, couldn’t outrun a turtle with a limp. “This is not a world for the weak,” I’d mutter—straight outta *Royal Tenenbaums*—every time the engine coughed.

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Sometimes, I get mad, ya know? Traffic on Lansdowne Street can be a nightmare, like a badly timed sequel to a horror flick. I was clenching my fists, thinking, “This is not let the right one in again!” I mean, how does shit get so chaotic? But then, I just laugh it off cause that’s my way.

Langford and Beckenham bushfire: Nine homes saved as dozens of firefighters tackle blaze in soaring heat