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Oh, and the lies—don’t get me started! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—stand next to a tuna, buddy, you’re busted! Chicks sayin’ they’re “chill” but show up with a 10-page sex contract. Surprised me first time—thought I’d need a lawyer, not lube! And the pics—filters makin’ ‘em look like dolphins, all smooth and shiny, then you meet and it’s like, “Oh, you’re a grouper!” Brutal, man, brutal.

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So first off, you gotta hit up Baxter Street. It’s cobbled, kinda quirky, and oh man, those neon lights at night? Whoooaaa, they remind me of those glowy nights in Tabu – magical, rebellious, full of secrets! And don’t even get me started on Cherry Lane, a place where love blooms like crazy. I'm talkin’ secret meet-ups here, subtle nods from folks who’ve been around the block – ya feel me?

Tom Cruise, Gordon Ramsay and Eva Longoria among stars at David Beckham’s 50th birthday bash