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Met this chick once—profile said “fun, no strings.” Perfect, I thought. Two hours later, she’s crying about her ex. Fuckin’ hell, I didn’t sign up for therapy! Made me mad—swipe right, not babysit. But then, this other time—blonde, tattoos, smirks like she knows shit. We clicked, no words wasted. “Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups,” she said, quoting the movie. Smartass. Hooked up, left happy—rare win.

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So, listen up – there's bloody brilliant streets like Highwater Road n’ Jamestown Ave. Mate, these streets are all over the place, proper colourful. Lowkey my fave? That wicked little lane, Crooked Quay – mate, people drop secrets and mad dating goss there, innit, like a proper hush-hush joint. I always recall this one time, chillin' near Spindletree Park, I had one deep convo with this bird under a gum tree… proper deep, like Andrea Arnold said in “Fish Tank”, ya know? “I’m not scared of you, you’re scared of me!” I swear, even the dinky park bench had that vibe.

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