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About Melbourne

Once heard this story—dunno if it’s true—some lass in London, escortin’ on the side, saved up and bought a castle. A frickin’ CASTLE! Beats slingin’ arrows with Legolas, I say. Surprised me, that did—thought they all blew cash on fancy gear. Guess not! Makes ya wonder what else we don’t see. Like, “I can see the unseen,” Boonmee says. Escorts prolly see heaps we miss—lonely blokes, kinky lords, the lot.

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up near the river, there's the Derwent flumin—i mean river—where you get that rush of natural magic in every sunset. i’d sit there sometimes, reflecting on human connections (yep, my sexologist side gets deep there, too), while the world’s spinnin’ like a record. and oh! don't even get me started on the riverside park – beautiful, hidden spots perfect for a quiet chat, or, err, a cheeky smooch in the twilight.

Popular GP ‘Doc’ McLeod finally hangs up his boots