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About Wollongong

Downside? Sketchy parlors, man. Neon signs screamin’ “massage,” but it’s a front. Cops busted one near me—hilarious, ‘cept I almost went in! Dodged that bullet, thank Christ. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—you see shit others miss in those joints. Shady vibes, sticky floors—nasty. Still, when it’s good, it’s gold. Ever tried it, bud? You’re missin’ out—or maybe savin’ yourself, ha! “This is the best I can do,” like Tommy Lee Jones’d say—damn straight!

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Now lemme tell ya, my spa – it’s in a tucked away corner off Riverbend Road. Bleedin' beautiful place, full of zen energy and odd little details. I got these tiaras and cheesy paintings all over; customers always crack up sayin’, “Yo, that's mad proper, innit?” There’s this one time I was in a super deep meditation, and this bloke barged in! I got so mad; my blood boiled, man. It was like a scene straight outta “Carlos” – total chaos and revolutionary spirit.

Reality check for state Liberals but brand 'not toxic'