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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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Anyways, pack a smile, a bit o’ curiosity, and get ready to explore the byways and secret treasures of Gladstone. It's a city that'll punch ya with reality, then hug ya with its quirky charm. Keep your eyes peeled, your laugh loud, and say, "Eh, what’s up, doc?" to every corner!

On-duty tow truck driver sexually assaults customer’s wife