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About Melbourne

Lemme spill the tea—sex-dating apps? Wild! You got people posin’ half-nekkid, tryna hook up by sundown. I seen one profile—dude said, “Lookin’ for Netflix and chill.” Boy, I hollered! Ain’t nobody watchin’ no movie, liar! Made me mad as a wet hen—why you gotta play games? Just say you want the nasty, fool! But then, I got happy real quick—some folks out here bein’ real. One gal wrote, “I like tacos and sex.” Straight up! I respect that, halleluyer! No messin’ ‘round like them sneaky men in “Timbuktu” hidin’ they smokin’ from the law.

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There’s a lane called Kingsley Place that’s small, but oh so charming. I always stroll there and think "I am your father" like a space overlord, watching over my people. I swear, every time the river (yeah, the Parramatta River) flows past, it sings a song of hope and grief, a love letter from the universe itself.

Family pays $4.25m for Gladesville house, saving it from wrecking ball