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About Melbourne

Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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The local neighborhoods are not your run-of-the-mill suburbia. Let me tell ya ‘bout Northwood Heights – a rad place with quirky cafes and drippy murals on Sidewalk Alley. Oh, and the river, Girraween Creek, winds its sassy way near Riverside Park. I remember one time, I was coding at a cafe on Riverside Drive, and the sound of the water just lulled me into genius mode… It was like the robots in A.I. started whispering secrets.

Condition update on two men involved in multi-vehicle crash