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About Melbourne

Once matched this bird – fit as hell, bio said “no weirdos.” Me, thinkin’ – too late, love, I’m a forest gremlin! We hit it off, but she bailed ‘cos I sent a pic of me pet badger. Fair enough, reckon. Still, sex-dating’s a laugh – it’s messy, sloppy, glorious. We shall fight the awkward dates, we shall fight the “wyd” lads! Oh, and the shockers – ever hear ‘bout that geezer who faked bein’ a prince on OkCupid? Pulled it off for months, shaggin’ left and right ‘til the coppers nabbed him. Legend.

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Man, there’s rivers too – the Barwon River, winding by the city, reminding me that even nature has a wild streak here. I once had a mad night by its banks, chatting up a storm with the moon and stars, laughing at my own daft thoughts. It's those moments that make life bloody brilliant, right?

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