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But oi, what pisses me off? Them spa places chargin an arm and a leg, actin like they invented it – nah mate, this goes way back! Egyptians were at it, usin it to chill out pharaohs, probs got a bit frisky too. Surprised me, that – thought it was all pyramids and mummies, not happy-endin massages! Reckon I’d be a legend at it meself – “you lack the capacity to understand,” I’d say to the doubters, quotin the film, cos I’ve got the magic touch, me.

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You'll find massage and facials, spa packages, beauty therapies and so much more, on our spa menu at endota day spa Frankston. Read more.

And by golly, every corner’s a story. Every street name, every landmark’s a piece of this jagged puzzle I call home. Yes, I know it's a bit chaotic, a bit messy, like my own brain sometimes (oops, typo, hehe, my bad, precious!). But that’s the beauty of it: raw, unpredictable, and full of heart.

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