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So, I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage – it’s like fixin’ teeth but sexier, capisce? You’re kneadin’ gums, but it’s the whole damn body! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, they was rubbin’ each other down with olive oil, callin’ it therapy. Therapy my ass, they was horny! Makes me laugh, fuckin’ geniuses, right? Still, gets me pissed – these fancy spas chargin’ $200 for a “sensual rub,” and I’m over here grindin’ molars for peanuts!

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Then there’s McClelland Sculpture Park, a twisty wonderland of art in nature. I can’t help but think of that Yi Yi phrase, “Do you see the beauty hidden in the chaos?” It’s true here, every sculpture’s got its own whisper of secrets. And ya know what? I once met a wanderer near the sculpture that told me, “You were always too curious for your own good!” Gollum style, I shout “Precious, precious art!” all over again.

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