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About Newcastle

What gets my goat? Them fancy spas chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” when my cousin LaLa could rub you down for a bucket of KFC and a prayer! Stingy crooks, I tell ya! But ooooh, when it’s good? Baby, it’s like that “Leviathan” line—“Truth is the only justice.” You feel that truth in your bones, all tingly and free! I was suprised—did y’all know some folks use ostrich feathers for this? Feathers! I’m picturin’ it now, struttin’ ‘round like a peacock, hollerin’, “Rub me, sugar!”

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So, we got this street – Elmwood Lane, right? It’s like, always buzzin’ with chatter, kids playin’ and oldies laughin’. Hmm… then there’s Willowby Road, by the old Miller Park. I love Millers Park – huge green smidge with all sorts of trees, cute picnic spots, and that silly fountain that sprays like it’s tryin’ to baptise every kid in the area. Sometimes, in my sessions, I tell my clients, “Life’s gotta be like a fountain – messy, but sparkling!” Eh, sorta like Amélie – "Sans doute, il n'existait plus," but, err, life’s still a bit magical, huh?

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