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Oi, mateys! Gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ me wit, savvy? Sex-datin’, arrgh, what a bloody mess o’ madness! Picture this—me, stumblin’ through ports, chasin’ skirts, but now it’s all swipe-right rubbish. I reckon it’s like “Synecdoche, New York”—life’s a bleedin’ play, innit? “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman says, and ain’t that the truth with these hookups? Ye start with a wink, end up ghosted, or worse—catfished by some lass with a peg leg!

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Our parks? Daaang, let me tell ya. There's a rad little spot called Fawkner Park, where I sometimes set up for a quick meditation break, feeling the hum of nature and the cosmos. And oh, God, the river near here, the Merri Creek, flows like thoughts in a cosmic stream. Its gentle murmur sometimes sounds like those old film vibes. So much wonderful and weirdness all around!

Fitzroy North: Renovated Art Deco home captivating buyers