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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Community Manager, and I hate everything. Sex-dating? Pfft, what a mess. Buncha desperate weirdos swipin’ right, hopin’ to get laid. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—vampires, broodin’, sexy, but miserable. That’s sex-dating in a nutshell. You got these apps, right? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—total chaos. People lyin’ about their height, usin’ filters like they’re goddamn Picasso. “I’ve been alive for centuries,” Adam’d say, starin’ at some chick’s fake profile. Me? I’d rather carve a canoe than date online.

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Lemme spill some secrets: I've hidden away some good spots for my sessions in quiet corners near Marsupial Mews. Those narrow paths are perfect for whisperin' worries away. Its hidden beauties make life sweeter, remindin’ me that deep in there, we're all dreamers, searchin' for truth under the city lights.

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