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What gets me ragin’ tho? The sanctimonious twats judgin’ ‘em. “Oh, how dare they sell their arse!” Mate, we’re all sellin’ somethin’—I sell snark and wine-stained wisdom. Escorts just cut the bullshit. Happiest I ever was with one? This redhead—gods, legs like a Dornish mare—told me she’d once escorted a bloke who cried after. Not from joy, mind—said he missed his mum. Fuckin’ wild, right? Surprised me shitless, but I got it. We’re all messed up.

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Oh, and parks – lemme tell ya, Ermington Park is the bomb. Its grassy knolls made me laugh, cry, and swear off my dating disasters for a hot minute. I used to stroll through the park, thinkin’ “Here’s the deal… this place is magic!” when I saw kids playin’ footy near the creek. Yeah, the creek! Its gentle hum echoing like a siren call for romance.

Putt Putt holes-out with a bang