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About Melbourne

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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Ain't no place to chill like Epping – where hidden murals on Corner Market St pop off with color, and every block gets its own drum beat that echoes Kanye’s flow, too! I sometimes get mad at the noise of construction – like, c'mon, let the city breathe, let me hear my clients' quiet moans of relief, man, it's art!

Police probe whether assault of two Muslim women was ‘prejudice motivated’