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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a beast in the ring, a Bestiary gladiator, and I’m here spillin’ tea on sexual-massage like Judge Judy rippin’ into a deadbeat dad. Sexual-massage, huh? It’s that steamy, slippery slope where hands get wild and tensions melt faster than a popsicle in a microwave. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain – I ain’t buyin’ that “it’s just a rubdown” nonsense! This ain’t your granny’s back massage, nah, it’s got that spicy edge, that “ooh, what’s happenin’ here?” vibe.

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I love how each street feels alive with stories. Sometimes I stroll by Sunshine Crossing (lol, perfectly named, eh?) and I think “yeah, baby, riding that vibe, crazily.” We women have all sorts of deep scars, and watching these lively spots, I feel awe, but also, I'm vexed at times when injustice strikes. But it's cool – life’s a trip, just like a twisted plot from Inherent Vice, you know? "There it is, doc" – the burst of weird beauty.

Ekholm ruled out for Edmonton Oilers in Round 2 vs. Vegas