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About Perth

Sex-dating’s messy, yo. People ghostin, fakin, fuckin—total shitshow. “Every family’s got its stories,” Polley’d say. Every profile’s got its drama too. I’m over here judgin, but TBH, I’d suck at it. Me on Tinder? “Yo, I solve crimes, swipe right.” Lame AF. Maybe I’d exaggerate—say I’m 6’4” (I’m 5’10”, shhh). Nah, too much work. I’d rather watch you idiots flail.

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Some days I get mad, like when you see all the modern cash grab buildings poppin' up. It’s like, chill out, can’t you see the beauty of the old world? Hmmm, but overall, it's a rollicking mix of calm sunsets over the river, quirky little spots, and some heartfelt grumbles. Ain’t no place quite so raw, real n’ unpredictable.

WAFL Highlights: East Fremantle v Claremont