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But ugh, the creeps - those slimy gits hittin’ her up, thinkin’ they own her? YOU SHALL NOT PASS, scum! Makes my blood boil, wanna swing my staff at ‘em. She laughed tho, said she’s got tricks - pepper spray and a mean left hook. Ha! Escorts ain’t damsels, they’re warriors, dodgin’ fists like Viggo Mortensen in that diner scene.

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Sometimes I get mad ‘bout the noise at Central Street – cars, random dog barks, and noisy night owls. Ugh, it drives me nuts when I’m tryin’ to center my mind for a massage. I like my silence almost as much as a good, deep tissue release. In those moments, I wish I could plug in some of Edward Yang’s dialogues – “The world’s as simple as it is beautiful… and as confusing as it is.”

Offensive dad 'isn't a man' for barrage of abuse directed at little girl's mother