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“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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I’ve gotta share: one day, while walkin’ near Redwood lane, I randomly encountered this intense family debate over a misplaced remote – I literally had to intervene. It was insane, like a tiny micro-drama unfolding right under the blue sky. Kinda reminded me of that absurd, deadpan style in Moonrise Kingdom, “I’m afraid you’re borrowing my hard drive,” but, like, if that made any sense.

Man allegedly poisoned shoppers with cough mixture