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Alright, here we go—escort, huh? Man, what a gig. I’m picturing it now, some slick dude in a cheap suit or a chick with heels sharper than my wit, struttin’ around like they own the night. Everybody lies, right? That’s the motto. They’re sellin’ company, sure, but it’s all a big ol’ masquerade. Kinda like in *Talk to Her*—you know, my fave flick—where Benigno’s all “I’m just carin’ for her,” but deep down it’s messed up, selfish love. Escorts? Same vibe. “I’m here for you, babe,” they say, but the wallet’s the real VIP.

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You know what really tickles me? All them little quirks—the stray cat near the corner of Fifth and Monroe (swears he’s seen more drama than a soap opera), and the street artist on Riverbend Alley (dude, he paints dreams!). I love 'em, even if I joke around, they make me laugh when I'm sweatin' over my massage work all day.

Woolworths introduces big change to fresh produce aisle - and it will change how you shop