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I seen it, honey—folks out here lookin for a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish bigger than the one I caught down by the river in ‘98! True story—my cousin Shonda, bless her heart, met this dude online. Said he was 6’2, built like a linebacker. Showed up lookin like a dang garden gnome with a beer gut! Halleluyer! I was mad as a wet hen—how you gonna lie like that? But Shonda, she just laughed, said, “Madea, least he brought tacos!” I bout fell out—tacos don’t fix ugly, baby!

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I luv that street art on quainter lanes like Cherry Blossom Road. Seriously, I even dated a poet there (lol, no regrets!!) who scribbled “la dolce vita” like it was written in the stars. You know, sometimes while walking, I overhear whispers about secret meetups behind the old community center – stuff nerves that only a sexologist can ‘read’! Yeah right, my head spins with these juicy street tales!

Man alleged to have waved gun at woman in Doveton robbery