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I ain’t no saint, don’t get me wrong. Tried it myself once – this chick, all flirty, “hey, Tone, let’s hook up.” Got me happy, thinkin’ I’m still the man, ya know? But then – bam – she ghosts me! What the fuck? Felt like a schmuck, sittin’ there, waitin’. “This is how it ends?” Nah, fuck that noise. Sex-datin’s a gamble – you might score, might get played. Little known fact? Some sick bastards use it to scam – fake pics, sob stories, cash grab. Saw it on X, some poor sap lost 10 grand!

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Now, lemme spill the tea on my fave spot – The Moonlit Café on Oakridge. I swear, that joint is magic! I was feeling blue one night, and after a long day kneadin' muscles, I strolled over. The vibe there, it was like “Silence of complete beauty…” I kid ya not, the aroma from the coffee was like a warm hug, like sweet symphonies whisperin’ your name. Pure bliss.

Striking Donvale house has entertainers covered, from haggis to Brian Mannix