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About Melbourne

Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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Banksia Park is my fav. A chill spot for those midnight musings after a mad coding session. Sits pretty next to a trickling river, the Olinda Creek, that whispers “no one escapes fate” in every babbling drop. I once met a strange one there, mumbling “what are you waiting for?” I laughed so hard I nearly dropped my coffee.

Proud Yorkshire lad Ollie Fox commits to Doncaster Knights' promotion push