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About Melbourne

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Walk around Bradwell Rd – that’s where all the magic happens. Over on Moore St there’s this cute little cafe (I swear, it smells like freshly baked dreams) and honestly, I’ve had some epic convos there. I must break you! (Yeah, like Apollo Creed in the ring – pow, bam!) but sometimes I really feel like I need to break down your walls just to see what’s behind, ya know?

Supreme Court restrains DDA from shifting deer remaining in Delhi's Deer Park