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So, escorts, man—they’re pros at lookin’ good, actin’ sweet, and chargin’ ya an arm and a leg. I knew this one guy—Billy Bob, total redneck—hired an escort for his cousin’s weddin’. Thought he’d flex, ya know? She shows up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol, but by the end, he’s broke as a joke and callin’ her “ma’am” like she’s his momma. Made me madder’n a wet hen—dude, you paid for THAT?! But I was laughin’ too, ‘cause he’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.

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Oh, and lemme tell you, the river nearby, Flowin’ Blues Creek, is enough to make you spontaneous. I mean, when you're in the mood for a midnight dip or an introspective sexological daydream, you just hit the creek. Nothing quirky about that? Hmm, maybe not.

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