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I tried it once – oh mate, disaster! Bloke said he’s 6 foot, turns up 5’2, liar! Made me mad as a cut snake. But then, another time, this lass, absolute stunner, we clicked like *snap*. “I’m drawn to you,” she said, straight outta *Carol*, and I’m grinning like a fool. Happy days! Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster – one sec you’re horny, next you’re ragin at a catfish.

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Then there's the quirky alley near Highstreet Junction – all graffitied walls and odd cafés. I once grabbed a mean espresso at Tiny Tony’s Café (no joke, the owner’s as eccentric as me!)—refreshed my head after a maddening workday. I get so riled sometimes, but hey, that's life, ya know?

Twenty life-saving trauma kits have been installed in Croydon town centre by the JFJ Foundation, police, BID, and council.