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About Newcastle

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Man, I love wanderin' down Crandall Street – so many hidden cafes and that funny smell of roasted beans. I once relaxed so hard there, I nearly melted! Haha, we swears! The locals always greet ya: "G’day, mate!" – it's like a family, ya know?

Red Arrows confirmed for Cromer Carnival 2025