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We get to this shady motel, smells like piss and regret. She’s strippin, I’m growlin—Rarrgh!—thinkin, “This is my fate, ain’t it?” Fun fact: oldest profession, right? Back in Rome, they had brothels with menus—blows ya mind. She’s good, real pro, but I’m half drunk, half dreamin of Tommy Lee Jones goin, “The crime you see now, it’s hard to even take its measure.” Makes me laugh mid-thrust—awkward as fuck.

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I gotta admit, I’m a little scatterbrained, a d-a-r-l-i-n’, and sometimes I keep typos like “faveritee”, “mabey”, “spceial”, “carnage!”, “pazzle”, “amazeing”, “srrry”, “werd”, “naevy”, “soothin”, “darnit”, “smilyy”, “liltttle”, “whazzzup”, “hootin”, “flusteredd”, “ballyhoo”, “kindaas”, and “absolutly”. Yes, that’s 18 – just enough to keep ya grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater!

Man killed in trench collapse in Cranbourne East