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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and I’m like—pretty, pretty good, sure, but also—what the hell’s happenin’ here? I mean, it’s supposed to relax ya, but half the time I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, wonderin’ if this chick’s gonna judge my hairy back or somethin’. It’s like in *The Headless Woman*—you know, that scene where Veronica’s all dazed, drivin’ off after maybe hittin’ somethin’? That’s me after a sexual-massage—floatin’, confused, like, “Did I just pay for that?”

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I’m always wanderin’ down to Riverside Crescent – yeah, that’s a lil’ backstreet but full of local legends. Some nights, I even hang out near the "Maritime Mews," a dingy bar where the regulars discuss weird fantasies, gender quirks, or just have a good laugh over cold beers. A friend of mine once said, "This is what life is all 'bout, like in that Kaufman movie nonsense." And I swear, it’s like every night is improv theatre.

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