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About Perth

Lemme hit ya with this—little known fact, yo. Back in ancient Rome, gladiators got oiled up, massaged down, *sexual style*, before fights. Boosted stamina, kept ‘em loose—crazy, right? Blows my mind, thinkin’ how they worked it. Me, I’d be all—*“Put your nose on it!”*—like in the movie, pushin’ limits. That’s the vibe, man, breakin’ barriers with every stroke.

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I’m always wanderin’ down to Riverside Crescent – yeah, that’s a lil’ backstreet but full of local legends. Some nights, I even hang out near the "Maritime Mews," a dingy bar where the regulars discuss weird fantasies, gender quirks, or just have a good laugh over cold beers. A friend of mine once said, "This is what life is all 'bout, like in that Kaufman movie nonsense." And I swear, it’s like every night is improv theatre.

Mum's horror after daughter, 4, almost severs finger on playground ride