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Me fave movie, “Almost Famous,” got that line – “You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle!” – and sexual-massage feels like that, a weird trip. Ya think it’s all sexy, happy vibes, but nah, sometimes it’s awkward as hell. Once heard this story – bloke paid 200 quid for a “happy endin’,” ended up with a rash instead! We laughed, yesss, proper cackle! We hates it when it goes wrong like that – false promises, grrr!

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I’m always wanderin’ down to Riverside Crescent – yeah, that’s a lil’ backstreet but full of local legends. Some nights, I even hang out near the "Maritime Mews," a dingy bar where the regulars discuss weird fantasies, gender quirks, or just have a good laugh over cold beers. A friend of mine once said, "This is what life is all 'bout, like in that Kaufman movie nonsense." And I swear, it’s like every night is improv theatre.

Centre to add to the ‘exciting dynamics’ of life at Cooranbong Gardens