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About Melbourne

So, check it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle out there, yeah? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d score a quick one. Turns up, she’s got a bloody tarantula as a “date idea.” Noped out faster than you can say “vodka martini.” Made me proper angry—false advertising, that! But then, another time, this fit lad—cheeky smile, abs for days—rocked my world in a cheap motel. Happy? Mate, I was buzzin’—like, “the forest swallows you whole” good.

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Sometimes, as I work, I get mad at all the chaos outside. Traffic noises, loud blares from radios, eh, whatevs—I just zone out with some deep spa relax tunes, drift and think "I’m gonna make it even if it sounds like a crazy serenade." Mabey it’s weird, but this flow, it gets me pumped and serene in one misfit gulp.

Inside the charming Devonshire town of Colyton, home to a delightful vintage tram service