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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up, hon! So, sex escorts, right? I’m talkin’ real fancy schmancy stuff here—nasally voice kickin’ in—like, these gals and guys, they’re pros, ya know? Not just some random hookup! I mean, I saw this one escort ad once, legit had a PhD—can ya believe it? A doctor of SEXY TIMES, ha! *The Nanny laugh* NAAAHAHAHA! Made me so happy, like, "Wow, brains AND booty!"

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First off, there's the old cobbled street, Millers Ln – a twisty path where I first met a wizened old bloke who told me, "My precious, the city's soul hides in its cracks!" Crazy, right? And then there's Riverfall Bend. I love comin’ here, watchin’ the water shimmer under the moon. The river sings to me, it does, remindin’ me of that one magical scene in The Secret in Their Eyes when all secrets whisper away... ohhh my precious, remind me of those lost hopes!

Collingwood Park top talent wins top junior cricket award