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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me blood boilin’ when punters act holier-than-thou. “Oh, we’d never!” they says, then sneak off at night. Hypocrites, nasty hobbitses! Escort’s just a job, like sellin’ cakes or lies. Me favorite bit? When they outsmart the creeps. Like Jep says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of old people’s houses.” Ssss, escort’s got that whiff too - secrets, sweat, and time runnin’ out.

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I had a mad rant one day when the local council nearly shutdown our cultural park – ironically called "Heart Park.” They wanted to pave over the open grassy fields for a parking lot (lol, seriously, wtf?) I got super mad. I mean, come on, it's not all algorithms and data, it's also life and soul, you feel me? Crazy, right?!

Clyde North stabbings leave two men dead in Melbourne's south-east