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About Melbourne

What gets me riled? Catfishin! Some dude pretends he’s a babe, sends fake pics—then ya meet and it’s a hairy trucker named Bubba! Surprised me first time—damn near threw my phone! “What do you want from me?”—that’s from *Ten*, and I’m yellin it in my head! Waste o’ time! But when it works—hot damn! Sparks fly, clothes off, Git-R-Done! Like drivin through Tehran in that movie—chaos, but ya get somewhere!

Meet your soulmate today in Clarinda

Not to get all emo on ya, but the vibe here always keeps me on my toes. I stroll down Westbound Road – yeah, that’s a cute twist – and I find a funky mural on an old warehouse. That art just pops, provokin' the kinda feel you get from a rad sunset, ya know what I mean? Kinda like when Jesse and Celine were talkin’ ‘bout life, loves and tiny moments of magic. “I hope that if nothing else, a lifetime from now, you will have told me that your heart was touched,” baby – that's the feelin’ Clarinda gives me every damn day.

Clarinda to host 32nd annual ‘Lighted Christmas Parade’