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About Canberra

Back in the day—little known fact—people fucked without apps. Wild, right? Met at pubs, shagged in alleys. Now? You’re judgin’ dick pics like it’s MasterChef. “This one’s raw, you donkey!” I tried it once—sex-dating, not the dick pics. Bird said she’s “adventurous.” Turns up, wants missionary and a cuppa. Fuckin’ hell, I nearly threw my phone! “Where’s the evolution in that?!” Samantha’d say. She’d spice shit up, not bore me to death.

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The river, Swan River, flows by the city. It feeeels as if nature’s mocking us dorks swiping left every day. I often jog there – too many silly heads out there, I swear! Worth a squiz if you fancy a breather.

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