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Sometimes it’s a slog, tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics, girls ghostin’. Makes me wanna yeet my phone into the Bifrost. Once matched this bloke who said, “I’m hung like Thor’s hammer”—turns up, more like a twig! Laughed my arse off, then bounced. “I don’t want freedom. I want to live!”—that’s me ditchin’ bad lays for better prey. Oh, and fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real. Wild, huh? Loki don’t do “real,” tho—too messy.

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Totally, the vibe is unpredictable: happy like a spontaneous dance party, angry like a stalled bus on a rainy day, and super surprising, too. I mean, last week I found a hidden mural in a tiny alley (oh man, it was gorgeous, painted like a mix of melancholic blues and hopeful pinks – almost like a secret that only Chelsea-Heights can keep!).

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